Sadness and anger are the emotions I’m experiencing.
I mentioned here that my husband had left me in August, 2021. I also mentioned (here) that my Mom had passed in November, 2021.
For some reason, I have always liked the shape of the number eight (8). Depending on how you’re looking at the number, is sometimes reminds me of the infinity symbol … continuous motion with no destination or hurry in getting ‘there’. The shape of the number three (3), depending on how it too, is looked at, looks like the number eight (8) cut in half. Don’t you think? This isn’t about numbers though. Not really.
Do you think ‘bad’ things occur in three’s? Celebrity deaths for example, though I am quite certain however, celebrities dying in three’s isn’t a portent or a curse or hex. Hearing news of a family member or someone you know or met has passed away provokes so many things of this nature really happen in THREE’s?
I enjoy doing research. Technical and scientific research are not a strong subjects for me, however!!! If technical and scientific jargon can be explained in a way to help me understand what “you” were researching, I’d jump right in and find whatever I believed would or could be beneficial!!
I did a wee bit of research pertaining to the number three (3). I didn’t realize there were so many stories, myths and evidence of this particular number. For example:
Wikipedia offers this: 3 (three) is a number, numeral and digit. It is the natural number following 2 and preceding 4, and is the smallest odd prime number and the only prime.
Three is The Magic Number according to the Welsh National Opera: What does number 3 symbolize?
The ancient Greek philosopher, Pythagoras, postulated that the meaning behind numbers was deeply significant. In their eyes the number 3 was considered as the perfect number, the number of harmony, wisdom and understanding.
Death Comes In Threes Bible Verse: What is Death Comes in Threes? The phrase “Death in Threes” is a Biblical allusion to the crucifixion and death of Jesus. It also alludes to the three deaths that Jesus suffered while hanging on the cross. Physical, spiritual, and mental death were the three types of death that Jesus Christ experienced on the cross.
I found this offered by This Bridge Called Cyberspace: According to Mexican tradition, people die three deaths: The first death is when our bodies cease to function, when our hearts no longer beat of their own accord, when our gaze no longer has depth or weight, when the space we occupy slowly loses its meaning.
Celebrities are linked to the number three (3) as well:
It’s believed to have started when Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper died in a plane crash together all the way back in 1959. And, more recently, Parts Unknown star Anthony Bourdain, fashion designer Kate Spade and The Goldbergs star Jackson Odell all died within mere days of one another. (Source) and this as well: It’s the Celebrity Death Rule of Threes — when one of our stars dies, two more tend to follow, or so the common wisdom goes. The most famous example might be 2009’s Summer of Death: Ed McMahon on June 23, Farrah Fawcett on June 25, and a few hours later that day, of course, Michael Jackson. (Source)
My husband — yes, the one that left me — passed away in October, 2022. We were in the process of reconciling and I was looking forward to seeing him again.
Denny was, at times, challenging.
Let me make a quick correction here — — extremely challenging especially when it shifted to outright difficult to being an asshole. At times.
At times, my ass!! — MOST, if not a very good MAJORITY of the time, he was NOT someone I wanted to bring home for dinner. I often wondered if our relationship would … shift and change for the better. It did and it didn’t. We’ll be celebrating our 30th Wedding Anniversary December 24, 2023. That’s a tale for another time though because it is, literally, PACKED with ADVENTURE!
Last Sunday, Mother’s Day — May 14, 2023, my sister passed away. SHE is the reason I am feelilng bereft. And SHE is the reason I am experiencing this sadness and anger. I am angry with her because she could have done something that would enable her to get out of the situation she was in. Like our Dad, she’s an alcoholic. She’d fill empty water bottles with Vodka and “sip” on that bottle while she worked. Someone reported to the management team of her workplace and as a result had to provide urine sample to her employer. The results of the test provided no ammunitition to or for her employer that she was or had been drinking. Not too long after the test was given, she was put on “Leave of Absence”, without pay.
She ended up in the hospital because of a heart attack. Long story short — she jumped through all the corporate hoops — filled out the appropriate paperwork that would, she believed, prevent her from being terminated. She went back to work on a Wednesday (I’m unsure of the exact date) and, I believe, worked the rest of the week and the following full week which brings us to Mother’s Day weekend.
May 5, 2023, she received a text message from her employer that she had been terminated. And, on Mother’s Day, she passed away.
My brother’s life partner is currently in Home Hospice and his health is declining at a very rapid rate. And yes, this is also a story for another time.
These feelings and emotions swirling within and around me are a bit overwhelming. I have broad shoulders though, and will get through this. I have to. I made a promise to my brother’s partner that I would be strong.
